Very rarely do I receive a normal letter any more... it's all forwarded chain mail junk. I admit, some of it is very funny but let's face it - I don't think that I am going to be smited because of all the letters I deleted.
I have one family member who I thoroughly believe has lost the ability to form an orginial thought and place "fingers to keyboard" (we no longer do pen to paper so I guess this would be the modern equivalent). I have tried on several occassions to initiate real genuine conversation about her family and life. The response that I get is usually about a line or two for every paragraph I thoughtfully and lovingly typed. For those of you who know me rather well, I do tend to bloviate in my emails... hence the need for my blog, but I digress.
After a bit of research (translation: asking my mom) I found that this "illness" could be genetic!! It seems as though this person's mother has the same challenge. My mother will spend hours (okay, not hours but a good thirty minutes or so) writing letters to her sister. When she is done she will go about her day in hopes that she will receive a heartfelt reply. A few days will pass and when she does have her reply it consists of about three lines. It is at this time when I remind her that I have given up on the thought of actually receiving a message from a family member.
Now, friends are an entirely different story. We, my little circle of friends and I, manage to hold conversations that span years through one email thread. I have a girlfriend who sends nothing but forwards so it has gotten to the point where I read the title and if it says "FWD:blah blah blah" then half the time I don't even bother. My honorary sister is a completely different affair all together. If I haven't written to her in the appropriate amount of time (ten minutes after she has written me) then she will ring my phone and ask what is wrong. We discuss clothing for the next day, issues of the day, things from years ago and it all ties together. To top it off, we will take a break from the daily emails to actually speak on the phone too. She and I shop together even though we are 920 miles away!
So I guess the moral of the moment is that you can only hold conversations with people who are not gentically linked to you - all of those people get your forwarded junk mail. Only friends get the information that is important in your life... so to all of my friends - I love you and hope all is well. You know you can expect a letter from me soon. To all of my family members - see your forwarded message below started by the family member mentioned earlier...
"Resignation" Chain Email from my Cousin
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again. I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day. I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset. I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow. So . . . here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, 'cause............."Tag! You're it."